Owners Will Need to Sign Devilish Contract Prior to Demon Possession
As Hollywood writes it, when you make a deal with Satan, he bestows onto you whatever you covet most in exchange for your soul. However, there is usually some dark twist that ruins the overall experience long before you can settle into hell’s never-ending torment. If you ask him forÂ money, it’ll be stolen from the mob and they’ll hunt you down. If you ask him for power, he’ll make you the next Adolf Hitler. The devil’s bargain is a well-established trope â€” you get what you asked for but cannot fully enjoy it thanks to some twisted fine print.
Fiat Chrysler’s SRT Demon Customer Acknowledgment contract functions similarly. PerhapsÂ it’s a necessary evil because it specifically prohibitsÂ the brainless activitiesÂ which would absolutely result in your 800+ horsepower drag car killing you or a loved one. That said, you could ignore all of the rules FCA carefully chose to include within theÂ contract. But, when you do, the manufacturer has itemized and initialedÂ proof where it explicitly forbid you from doing so.Â
Posted in-full on AllPar, the contract serves primarily to protect FCA fromÂ any legal problems when owners inevitably do something stupid in their Dodge Demon. While the first few stipulations are boilerplate standard, things start getting weird the further down you read.
Item four: “If the Vehicle is not factory equipped with a passenger seat, Customer shall never attempt to install a passenger seat because the passenger will not be properly protected.”
While a milk crateÂ zip-tied to the floor is likely to offer inadequate levels of protection, “never” sounds pretty all-encompassing. You had better be absolutely certain before you opt for the seat delete option, because FCA says there is no going back.
The following rule is the one most owners will immediately ignore, potentially at the expense of their own lives.
Item five:Â “Customer shall never use any ‘Track-Use’ features, functions, equipment or parts on public roads or any other prohibited area. The intended use of ‘Track-Use’ features, functions, equipment or parts is for race vehicles on race tracks.”
Again, FCA is just covering its ass here because they have to know this one will literally go up in smoke the second someone uses the line-lock in service of the sickest burnout in recent memory. Likewise, some people are going to be curious as to the Demon’s full potential long before they get it onto a drag strip. Even if you can resist the urge initially, teenagers in modified Honda Civics are everywhere and one of them is going to convince you to hit the throttle eventually. Just remember that the odds of impressing him are roughly equal to you embarrassing/killing yourselfÂ â€” which is why theÂ contract exists.
Realistically, Dodge could never sell the Demon without a waiver and this one possesses some useful information in addition to absolving FCA from any wrongdoing. For instance, there is a reminder that the car is equipped with drag radials and not normal tires. The manufacturerÂ reminds new owners that theÂ Nitto NT05Rs do not have the longevity requiredÂ for highway usage or the tread pattern necessary to keep you from hydroplaning in the rain. FCA suggested owners not even move the vehicle in extremely cold weather in order to avoid warping the rear tires.
TTAC recommends youÂ be a massive nerd about it: If you live in a cold climate, put the car on jack stands, deflate the tires, bring them indoors, and lay them on their side. C’mon, show usÂ you are serious about tire maintenance.
Dodge’s acknowledgment for theÂ Demon wraps in an all-caps declaration that the purchaser assumes all risks and waives “any and all claims against FCA US LLC and/or Dealer.” That risk extends not only the driver butÂ “their personal representatives and heirs and next of kin.” An ominous reminder that this is not the kind of car you want to screw around in.
At the very bottom is FCA’s final attempt to keep dealers from marking up the Demon’s final price to stratospheric levels. Signees have the option to indicate if they were screwed by the dealership or not by checking one of two boxes:
We doubt many people will be checking the top box but it’s nice to see Dodge making a continued effort to keep dealerships from taking advantage.
via The Truth About Cars http://ift.tt/Jh8LjA
June 22, 2017 at 03:53PM
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